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  • Writer's pictureBryna Sampey, IBCLC

Oh So Awkward!

So I signed up to be a Beta member for the new Google Helpouts!

It’s very exciting- a HIPAA compliant platform for giving and receiving help from how to fix a dishwasher or do a math problem to medical advice to getting help with breastfeeding. I’m so happy to be able to have a web platform that is secure and helpful for moms and easy for me (I can totally wear PJ bottoms to work, guys! Living the dream)! Questionable clothing choices aside, I’m really curious to see how it’ll go.

Everything’s in the first phases, but so far it looks really slick.

I have one live listing now (for a breastfeeding basics class) and two pending listings for a consult and for a quick Q&A session. All are for a fee, which Google handles seamlessly- which is good for me, because I’d give away my services for free if I could (but the bills don’t pay themselves)! So I am happy that being paid is easy via G-Helps (is the nickname too much? too soon?) and that they take care of that part without my awkward: “Oh…uh, so I take cash, credit…anything really.” at the end of a consult that’s been very sweet and nice up to that point. Yes! Except for one thing...


I'm awkward on camera.

I think the hardest thing about setting up with Helpouts was filming my “Introductory video” which sounds so, so easy. It wasn’t. Oh, how it wasn’t. I used to be an actor, and I wasn’t half-bad, but you’ll never believe me after you see my video.

First of all, sitting in my office, staring down my trusty Nikon is already uncomfortable. I’m usually on the other side of that big lens! Why is the camera eye so intimidating? What can you see, camera?! Ok, ok. I’m calm. But seriously, it was really tough to think of things to say. I didn’t want to memorize something because authenticity is important to me- and you can’t fake it.

On top of everything, I was so slathered in makeup, all my words tasted like a combination of caranuba wax and flowers. I felt like a cadaver. Okay. So what do I say?

How cool I am? No. Not modest enough.

How excited I am to meet folks? Weird and too needy!

How much experience I have? What kind of breastfeeding troubles I help with? Sure, but what about me? Dude, this is still the internet, best not give out too much, mmkay?

I give up. Too hard!

But man, the silver lining to four hours of sad attempts at introducing myself without sounding like a lunatic or an overly-caffeinated mouse was this gem right here.

Presented with no shame, because I have none left.


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